the jumble

MOVED. AGAIN.

2010-06-02T20:44:00.002+07:00

ZOMG LYK YEAH DATS RITE I'M MOVIN AGAIN 2:

THEJUMBLE IN TUMBLR

go visit. follow. like. reblog. whatever.

i'm trying not to stare.

2010-04-12T21:15:00.003+07:00

anja rubik by artur wesolowski. quazi campaign

i'd like to think that i'm not at all a shallow person that would look at those legs, poke at my own, and groan and feel completely inferior. but, truth be told, that's exactly what i did.

anja's mythical proportions aside, i'm really digging those quasi-bondage style swimming suit.

i could also use a zebra rug in my room.

what terms and conditions?

2010-04-06T19:06:00.003+07:00

fashiongonerogue

hedi slimane diary

when colors represent dynamics and vivacity, black-and-white pictures bring a sense of pacifying stillness; the muted power a smoldering ember that leaves much to the imagination rather than an explosion of sparks that assaults the senses.

the monochromatic landscape also serves to hide the defects presented by a discordance of colors. it eliminates distractions and draw the viewer's attention to the form, composition, and message of the image. form becomes form. light becomes light. shadow becomes shadow. the image is the image.

when life could be converted into black and white, it would be like this:

this is GOOD that is BAD

this man will make you HAPPY all the time that man will make you CRY your heart out

you LOVE this one you HATE that one

this dress is GORGEOUS that one is UGLY AS HELL

you go this way you'll be SUCCESSFUL you go that way you're SCREWED

and each and every one of the above will apply to everyone, every time, no exceptions, with no gray area and no buts. no "terms and conditions apply". in short, life will be a lot easier to lead.

like eating chili.

2010-04-05T17:11:00.005+07:00

the first quarter of 2010 was easily the most important period of my life so far. i went through it with a single determination in my mind: LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH.

and now it's almost over.

after the end of next week, there will be no more burden, no more obligation, and no more worry for at least four months. after all, it's time for the super-long holiday. i've been looking forward to the late mornings and even later nights since the beginning of the school year. during classes, i have been dozing off planning about what to do in bali and in hawaii. true, now i am ecstatic that said holiday is almost upon me, but somehow i feel like i've been missing out. i have been so preoccupied that i missed the fun that i could have had in school. i could have stayed a moment longer after the bell, just to have a last-minute chat with my friends. i could have bought an extra bowl of meatballs in the cafeteria. i could have stayed awake through my last economy class.

"life is what happens when you are busy making other plans." - john lennon.

this makes me feel stupid. that is one of my favorite quotes ever, yet i have failed to live by it. but i guess this happens even to the bests of us. we look forward to sunny days while ignoring the scent of the rain around us.

so why don't we stop fretting about getting wet for a minute and look up? maybe look for the cracks in the cloud where the golden sunlight streams through, or maybe inhale the scent of the wet grass, or maybe admire how gray and muted everything seems.

who knows? maybe by appreciating how hard life is right now, i'll eventually find it fun to go through. it's like eating chili and enjoying how the stuff burns your tongue, right?

your life is the most interesting thing that will ever happen to you, so enjoy it while it lasts.

25 random thoughts.

2010-03-29T20:26:00.005+07:00

1. my head was so full of nonsense just three minutes ago. where are they now?

2. twitter is killing blogs and facebook. i honestly don't understand twitter's appeal. i mean, you type 140 characters, post it for the world to see. sure it's an easy and quick way to tell the world what you're thinking and doing and it is even a fairly easy way of communicating, ... oh wait. so that's why it's so good.

3. the term "hopeless romantic" defines me in three ways. at the least.

4. it must be good to have a personal stylist to dress you up. not everyday, of course, but on those days when you wonder "why the hell can't i just wear my pajamas to the mall?"

5. the things that you crave the most are the things that will harm you. fast food, smoke, drugs, men...

6. in six months, i'll be in a completely different place leading a completely different life.

7. why do people have "lucky numbers" "lucky days" "lucky colors"? are we really that desperate to believe that some things can be counted on to make us happy?

8. i want a digital camera but i'm afraid i'll break it or lose it.

9. because it seems that there is nothing that i touch that doesn't get scratched or get lost.

10. no, i'm not desperate for love.

11. yes, i breathe on romance.

12. when i feel like it, i will definitely make that "i want" list.

13. why is chesire cat smiling?

14. "why is a raven like a writing desk?" - the madhatter

15.

16. the only kind of pain i don't mind is when i can laugh until my stomach hurts.

17. try to clean up the past, and all you'll get is a messy future.

18. just leave the past alone. the cliche saying has it right: "someday we'll look back at this moment and laugh."

19. dear friends, i love how i can call you anytime just because "i feel like it".

20. when i'm texting or chatting with my friends, sometimes it disturbs me to think how much less we'll have to say to each other when we meet in real life.

21. "ok, let's study. ... is this it? ah screw it. i'll study tomorrow before class." *at the class* "help me out here! ...wait, what? say again? ah screw it."

22. most things are better seen in black-and-white.

23. i heart my 12 centimeters heels and i don't care what people say about my height when i'm wearing them. they kick ass.

24. i have one word for bellbottom jeans: no. i don't care if it's the shit in the 70's--they're dead and should stay dead.

25.

what happened to March?

2010-03-28T20:46:00.004+07:00

i honestly don't know.

this month has been so hectic, and it feels like i've been running through it with my hands over my eyes.

we (and by we, i mean us high school seniors) spent march thinking what to do after march. we were preoccupied by the national final exam, so we spent a great deal of our time thinking "what if we fail? what if we don't fail? what will happen after high school?" and more importantly, "I CAN'T WAIT FOR HOLIDAY!"

personally, i find myself staring into space more and more frequently. most of the time i'm visualizing the beach and countless fun-filled sleepless nights.

march, compared to february, has been a drag. except for those few days where everything feels better, i've been feeling like banging my head against the wall.

Q: what is the best thing about March?

A: it's not over yet. there are 3 days left, and that can either be the best or the worst thing about this month.

i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

i tried not using my blackberry for about 2 weeks. the result was that i turned into a more productive human being since i didn't have to check my messages and twitter and facebook every five minutes. but what can i say? the thing gets me.

what happened to February?

2010-03-28T19:38:00.007+07:00

calvin harris graced us with his performace at the Blowfish club on february 5th. i was STARSTRUCK.

ah. valentine's day. we were plagued by chocolates and heart emoticons for about a week. i had decided to be my own valentine, so i bought myself a little something to make the holiday sparkle a bit more. check out those 12-centimeter-Alberta Ferretti heels! they're definitely sweeter than a box of chocolates ;)

good thing valentine's day came on the same date as chinese new year, so us single beings didn't need to drown in our miserable loveless loneliness. a dose of family is always good once in a while.

cindy, my best friend, turned 18. we gave her cupcakes in the face and a handmade-36D-studded bra. she gave us way too much sushi.

i was ecstatic, albeit only for a short time.

i was excited, all the way through the month.

i cried, for a few days at a time.

i laughed, a lot.

i hoped, and i still am.

i drank a lot of hazelnut chocolate, to keep me going through it all.

ps: twitter did it. it killed my blog.

eclipsed.

2010-01-28T18:56:00.001+07:00

i just wish you'd understand.

you went like an arrow.

2010-01-23T13:37:00.001+07:00

and you haven't come out on the other side.

the amsterdam chainsaw massacre.

2010-01-21T21:36:00.002+07:00

fashiongonerogue

the fact that there is a crisis is not a reason to stop creating beautiful, extreme things

by viktor & rolf.

i sat on the roof and i kicked off the moss.

2010-01-19T18:39:00.004+07:00

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is, now that you're in the world
- Moulin Rouge

well, i thought i should let you know that yours are the sweetest eyes i've ever seen -- and i haven't forgotten about them yet.
:)

.

2010-01-19T18:29:00.001+07:00

you can't love something you've never had.
you can't lose something you've never had.
you can't miss something you've never had.

the best things are those you've never had.

LOVE.

2010-01-17T13:06:00.002+07:00

love isn't blind--it's just stupid.

love is selfish and selfless at the same time. its utter selflessness is what makes it selfish. it desires only to please and protect--and it won't stop, whatever the cause. it hears no reason, it sees no logic. it plows on, bruised and bleeding, on and on. through tears and blood, even though we scream for it to stop, it plows on and on.

love is stupid. it knows nothing is waiting on the other side. it knows that logic and reason order it to stop. it knows that there is no chance, no possibility of reciprocation. and yet it plows on and on. through tears. even though we scream for it to stop.

s/s '10

2010-01-13T22:34:00.003+07:00

related to my previous post: we're welcoming the spring/summer 2010 ad campaigns!

i'm disappointed with the versace and jean paul gaultier ads. i was expecting something really edgy from them, but they turned out kinda blah. marc by marc jacobs is okay, but i guess it's just not my taste.

miu miu - lindsey wixson by mert and marcus

fendi - anja by rubik karl

alberta ferretti - constance, dorothea, hanne, and kasia by steven meisel

i was surprised that i didn't get to see as much lace, frills, and pastels on the ads, because i was of the impression that those are supposed to be the main theme for this season. so far, the only ad that really meets my expectations is alberta ferretti's. and, although i wasn't expecting it, miu miu's 60s feel is also interesting.

well, let's just hope their collections are more satisfying :)

25 random thoughts.

2010-01-13T18:35:00.002+07:00

my friend and fellow blogger windi asked me to do this. so... voila:

1. babies smell so good -- when they're not puking
2. i really, REALLY want to go somewhere hot and sunny and beachy
3. who says topknots look stupid? they're practical and easy to pull off
4. i still can't believe brittany murphy's gone :(
5. hey you, maybe now you know how it feels to be ditched with no obvious reason
6. i had you, and now i have to lose you
7. seven is never my lucky number
8. keep playing, and someday you'll lose
9. i used to think that I'd get a letter from Hogwarts when I turn 11
10. most of the S/S '10 designer ad campaigns are disappointing :(
11. only 3 more months of high school! yay or nay?
12. why do we want things we will never get?
13. time is the surest doctor. it is also the surest assassin
14. i totally screwed up my math tryout
15. my facebook has been really quiet these past few days
16. tu es doux, monsieur! well, you were.
17. your head is not there for decoration -- use it.
18. i would never, ever fall for a guy like Mr. Rochester. what was Jane Eyre thinking???
19. what was I thinking???
20. if sarcasm had calories, i would be beyond obese by now
21. let's go to bali. we'll go clubbing all night, have some serious fun, and fall asleep on a heap at the beach. woohoooo
22. after we make it through this hell, of course
23. what about making an 'i want' list? you know -- to get my priorities straight
24. a bowl of vanilla ice cream with hot fudge on top. yum.
25. why only 25? my thoughts are so random i could do this all day

high school: the real fairytale.

2010-01-12T21:14:00.005+07:00

living a high school life is like dreaming a really long dream. for some, it's a fairytale. for others, it's a nightmare.

for three years, teenagers are trapped in this place, comparable to, perhaps, an asylum, a zoo, or a snow-globe -- a miniature of the real world. just as fierce, but run not only by rules and social hierarchy, but by that element of chaos: hormones. like an asylum, it's a madhouse of crazy people: crazy in love, crazy for fun, crazily lazy, crazy for grades, and the plain crazies, which are the very few really normal people. like a zoo, it's full of contained animals (Homo teenagersus) ready to run amok once the latch is opened, snapping into frenzy at feeding time: gossip, or lunchtime -- or both. like a snow-globe, it may look pretty at first, but all it takes is a little shake for everything to fall out of place.

basically, high school will either toughen you up or break you down. whichever it turns out to be, it will be like a slap at the back of your head. if you get away unscathed (HOW did you do it???) you're either abnormally lucky, or you're a social genius. if you emerge battered, scratched, and bruised, well--just get ready for the real thing.

either way, whether you're Cinderella or the misunderstood Big Bad Wolf, you might want to call your very own Fairy Godmothers to give your messed-up life a little magic, maybe a little more thrill. i have mine, and they're doing a great job so far. i call them friends.

:)

holiday never ends. highschool do.

2010-01-07T20:31:00.003+07:00

18 december 2009 - 5 january 2010

the best christmas and new year holidays i've had so far :)

and now it's over. i'm trying to salvage the last remnants of free time and stress-free state of mind, because pretty soon us highschool seniors are going to be mauled by a truckload of tests, assignments, and harrowing parents and teachers. all in the name of a brighter future! right? right.

i'm already missing waking up late and putting on a pair of unwashed denim shorts instead of my plaid uniform, and going out to meet my friends instead of sleeping in the car on my way to school.

however, i guess i have to enjoy all the time i have left in the classroom. because, come May, it will all be over. i'm certainly very eager to say byebye to my math textbook, but i don't know if i'm ready to leave high school.

just like i'm not ready to enter it again.

brittany murphy.

2010-01-02T15:09:00.003+07:00

"I find this life so interesting."
Brittany Murphy
1977-2009

firsts of 2010

2010-01-02T13:44:00.006+07:00

first song i gotta feeling - black eyed peas

first drink baileys

first food the cherry on top of my baileys

first wish love, and everything beautiful that comes with it

first reason to smile great friends, great time :)

first reason to cry
the things i've lost

first desire

wouldn't you like to know?

hello, 2010.

2010-01-01T16:47:00.001+07:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2009 review - part two.

2009-12-30T23:32:00.005+07:00

Which was the best month for you? february, july, october, december

Which month(s) was the worst? june, november

What was the most significant thing that happened this year? one thing piles into another, and they become this huge chain of events.. if you know what i mean.

What person had the most impact on your life this year? friends and lover-turned-best friend

What was the best concert that you attended? the playground festival. does that count?

What was your biggest challenge of 2009? learning how to hold on and let go -- and fight for the things that are important to me

Your biggest regret? june 2009. and not making the most of some golden opportunities

What moments stand out to you the most? valentine's day, sweet 17, trip to hongkong and singapore, the retreat, the 'incident', laurensia cup, the break up, and the trip to bandung, and that.

What band did you listen to the most? jason mraz and muse ruled most of this year. but i kinda listen to lots of artists this year.

On a scale of 1-10, 2009 was: 8.5 -- it haven't been all rainbows and butterflies, but 2009 has definitely been interesting.

Did you:

Meet anyone special? yes :)

Get close to someone you didn’t expect to? yes

Have a boyfriend or girlfriend? yes

Have a relationship for more than 3 months? yes

Hook up with anyone, no strings attached? define "hook up"

Experience the death of a loved one? thankfully not

Get in a fight? yes

Lose a friend? yes

Get drunk? yes

Regret doing something? yes

Go to a concert? yes

Fall in love? well, i was in love

Fall out of love? yes

Get back together with an ex? no

Enjoy being single? yes

Accomplish a goal? yes

Learn something new? yes

Get arrested? no

Break up with someone? yes

Get a tattoo? no

Go to a party? yes

The New Year: 2010

What will you be doing on New Year’s Eve: family thing

Will you kiss anyone at midnight? very much NOT likely

Who do you WANT to kiss at midnight? who do you think deserves it?

What is your New Year’s resolution? new life, better me

Did you keep your resolution from last year? i don't think i have one

Do you think things will be different in 2010? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY

What do you want most out of 2010? 2010, give me your best shot and take me on a wild ride

Do you think 2010 will be better than 2009? i'll make sure it does

2009 review.

2009-12-30T17:08:00.002+07:00

things i lost this year:
- my favorite t-shirts and cardigan :(
- a few pounds -- thankfully
- a really bad habit of worrying about everything
- my mind--partially and occasionally
- people
- love

things i found this year:
- something to do with my future :)
- addiction to BlackBerry
- a whole lot of additions to my wardrobe
- confidence
- people
- something better in the horizon

i'm sure there are more to the list, but those are the major things that i really care about. and if i look hard enough, the 'lost' list would definitely be longer than the 'found', but let's not bring ourselves down this close to new year, shall we?

hey, i had tons of fun in 2009. this year has made it to top of the list of 'the years that changed me the most' -- overthrowing 2008. i have a feeling that 2010 will be the most revolutionizing year of all, tho.

:)

i heart them.

2009-12-09T20:58:00.003+07:00

weheartit

lately i've been having trouble trying to find a place for my heart.

i thought of putting it in a box

but it kept banging against the lid

and it hurt

so i took it out and carried it with me everywhere

but it kept leaping and running away

and i got tired of trying to catch it

so i tried to put it back in the box

but it won't go back in there,

the troublesome thing.

missing in action no more.

2009-12-09T19:50:00.002+07:00

yes, i have been missing for a while, but it's with a good reason.

november really got me down. it's the month when all the troubles that have been piling up through the year came crashing down. literally. it's when all your problems came banging on your door. i was in no mood for anything -- i just wanted to sleep my way through november.

last week i've been really busy with the final rush of assignments. i still have the final tests for this week, but the worst has passed and now i can breathe a little. my mood has lifted, now that i can finally look forward to holiday (due in exactly 9 days!) and a great final blowout to close this year with a BANG.

so expect more from me.

therefore, i hate you very much.

2009-11-21T16:46:00.002+07:00

I'm not going to hate someone who I do not love.

Because if I don't love you, then who do you think you are that I might waste my time hating you?

read between the lines.

2009-11-19T21:37:00.002+07:00

because you're just so fucking adorable, babe.
smooch smooch.

dear world, from God.

2009-11-19T17:37:00.000+07:00

A few days before Christmas, I asked God if he would give me world peace for my Christmas present. He nodded and promised that He will look for it immediately.

On Christmas morning, I eagerly opened my present, but I was disappointed because what I found inside was terrorism. I looked in dismay at the bomb attacks and dead bodies. I looked at God and told him again that I wanted world peace, and would He give it to me as my next Christmas present. He said yes, He would.

The next year, again I eagerly opened my present, for I was sure that God would not break His promise the second time. But, again, I was disappointed to see that what I got was not world peace, but world hunger. I was appalled to see the people walking around as no more than skin and bones. I looked at God and told Him that he had given me the wrong thing, and that He has to promise that He will give me world peace for next year's Christmas present. He said that He promised He would give me what I wanted.

The next year, I opened my present very eagerly, because I was sure that He would not fail me for the third time. So, I was crushed when I found that He had given me global warming instead. I cried when I see the melting ice caps and devastating disasters. I looked at God and cried, "God, why won't you give me world peace?"

He smiled at me and said, "My child, after all you have faced together, why can't you embrace each other and make peace?"

nadia.

where are you?

2009-11-18T21:34:00.001+07:00

the truth is
i lie
i lie all the time

i'm just waiting for someone who can see the truth.

so wrong, and it doesn't feel right at all.

2009-11-17T20:31:00.003+07:00

weheartit.

i said the wrong thing.
so, so wrong.
it's almost like i did it on purpose, like i wanted to test if it would cause the same outcome as the one i've predicted. (well, not really. it was slightly worse.) like i did it on purpose to ruin my own happiness. like i wanted to ruin my own happiness myself, rather than letting anything else ruin it for me.
as if i needed more drama.
i could have stayed quiet and be content, but no, i had to put everyone--they, him, myself, Fate--to the test. and now i wish i could shovel the words back into my mouth. snatch it up, and choke on it.
choke choke choke.
but life would be too easy if that were possible.
and we know that nothing is supposed to be easy.

jakarta fashion week 09/10

2009-11-16T20:13:00.002+07:00

oka diputra

rudy liem

hengki kawilarang

rebecca ing

looks like accentuated shoulders and balloon skirts are still going strong. i like rebecca ing's designs--simple with charming details. and a dash of romance. there are also batik used here and there, which i simply love.

i was lucky enough to get a front row seat. this is actually my first time seeing a fashion show LIVE. well guess what? i'll be coming back for more

:)

pacific place. sunday 151109.

the playground: we're not in the sandbox anymore.

2009-11-16T19:44:00.004+07:00

i want that giant ball. it bounced off the top of my head once.

franz ferdinand.

this is how the sky looked when i got home.

six hours of nonstop jumping and pumping fists. six hours of music beating inside my chest. six hours of flashing lights. i had so much fun it must be a criminal. my knees were shaking at the end of the night -- it was dawn when we headed back.

oh yeah, this is definitely better than the sandbox.

playground at carnaval beach, saturday 141109

in the name of blue sky and seas.

2009-11-10T22:19:00.003+07:00

BALI - february 2009

when all i can hear were laughter, the wind, and the waves. when the sun beat down and made rainbows whenever i closed my eyes. when all i wanted was for that moment to last forever.

and also when i didn't get enough sleep for a whole week and smelled of sweat. and when my legs got so beat up it was gross just looking at them. but still.

probably one of the happiest times of our lives :)
i miss you all.

if ten million fireflies.

2009-11-09T21:24:00.002+07:00

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
- Fireflies, by Owl City

i saw our old photos yesterday. i didn't cry, i didn't choke, i didn't turn away. i smiled.
they're sweet, those pictures. us. our smile, our memories.
thank you, thank you, i want to say, thank you. for everything. for this. for us.

let's not try to outrun the world, even if earth turns really slowly. aren't everything okay, this way, right now? and i hope someday we'll wake up and find that the reality is better than our dreams.

those fireflies will always be there. just close your eyes. aren't the lights dancing? aren't they beautiful?

the art of losing.

2009-11-08T13:39:00.001+07:00

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.
- One Art, by Elizabeth Bishop

lately i've been losing things. my ring, my keys, my cellphone (found it three hours later, wedged between the sofa cushions, fortunately), places and names (frustrating how it's on the tip of my tongue just when i lost it), my mind (? no, not yet). i lost things that were in my pocket just seconds before--i took it out, i put it down, i went away, and poof it's gone. and, like bishop said, it's no disaster.

but, unlike bishop, i'm afraid to lose more. unlike bishop, i don't want to lose the cities, the realm, the rivers, the continent. faster and faster they all will go, like sands between your fingers--little things that fall away, one wouldn't count, but soon there will be nothing on your palm. and, unlike bishop, i don't want to lose you.

hi there, again.

2009-11-08T13:27:00.002+07:00

i just ran a bulldozer through this blog.

i decided it needed a makeover, so i deleted all the old posts and made a brand-new banner (good, no?). some of the really good pieces will get re-posted, but sadly, there are very few of them. what happened? well, i don't know. but this might be a good place to start.

things are beginning to change around here. in my life, i mean. for better or for worse? honestly, i don't know.

i'll keep you posted, though.

again, cheers.